Counter Intelligence: GObama Edition

Well folks, there is a new big dog in the big (white) dog house. And unless you yourself have been living in a dog house, you know what I mean. The Obamas got a pug! No. Just kidding. That would be sort of cute, though.

Jokes aside, we are a part of a new era, which I like to call, Change We Can (be)Li(e)ve In. Anyway, this is a wonderfully exciting time, perhaps even more so because we have a president who really cares about food.* Yes, in this new era of hope and promise, I am confident that America will finally emerge as a country where its passion for democracy and freedom is only matched by its passion for useless kitsch on which we can slap our president's youthful face (message to Secret Service: that's image of face, not actual face. Also, I like your sunglasses).

For today's episode (column? article? chapter? whatever.) of Counter Intelligence, I bring you the various tools and toys that will allow you to cook with the calm confidence of a former junior Illinois senator.

First, I humble myself before the Obama foodie Bible, Obama Foodorama. The blog lists everything that could possibly be connected, up to six-degrees-of-Kevin-Bacon-style, with edible stuff and presidential stuff. Want to know how to make cupcakes with the change logo on them? Amateur hour. Why don't you try building a giant Barack out of rock candy. While not necessarily the kind of thing I would cover for Counter Intelligence, I still feel an obligation to put in a mention of this, the pinnacle of Obama/food blogs.

No presidential chef would be complete without the Cooking Up Hope apron, from Zazzle. A homebrew design (the website apparently allows users to design and sell their own products), the apron broadcasts inspiration and the promise of a greater future even as your kitchen melts in a grease fire.

What to cook up in your apron? Try some presidential cookies in the shape of the Democratic Donkey and Republican Elephant. Democrat? Feed the Elephant to your dog. Republican? Vent your feelings of frustration towards Sarah Palin, the last year of the Bush Administration, and the cheery smugness of Obama supporters by crumbling that little Donkey between your hands. $12.95 each from

And finally, start your littlest presidential chef off right with dreams of government grandeur with Air Fork One. Why resort to a simple make-believe plane floating around as you go "Whooosh!" when you can get one of these babies? (Ok, don't get greedy, you will still have to whoosh. It doesn't have sound effects.) $9.34 from (for some reason) Beaver Creek Quilt Company.

One last cool thing I found in my search for presidential cookware: the White House kitchen is totally boss. I love these pictures from the White House Museum website

Sooooo pretty. They look like happy chefs.

Nancy Reagan Just Says Yes to Pots

Even in 1901, the White House kitchen is like 10x more state-of-the-art than mine

*Video taken from a 2001 episode of Check, Please!, a cable access TV show in Chicago that invited various Chicagoans on to discuss food. The producers just released a "lost" episode containing footage of Barack Obama when the only dangers he faced were too many corn cakes and the hope he was inspiring by others was hope of some peach cobbler. Also, "lost" is TV-speak for "never aired because it's 2001 and who the heck is Barack Obama anyway?"

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